A prayer. For some it is a daily ritual, for others an emergency when nothing is really going well. However, with our cell phones in our pockets, we live in a time that does not wish to pray. How to talk to God? Are there right words? And what if I don't hear any answers? If you find prayer tricky or you don't know where to start, here's a handy guide for complete beginners.
“When it comes to prayer, we are all beginners.” -Teresa of Ávila
What exactly is prayer?
Now forget the notion that prayer is just a learned poem or a formal text that you have to recite in order to have the “right effect.” Prayer is a conversation with God — authentic, personal, and real. You don't need special words, the right tone of voice or complex sentences. You just have to be honest.
Prayer is not about knowing about God more. Prayer is about me living with God more.
Prayer is not a ritual by which you gain God's favor so that He notices you. God is here waiting for us to talk to him. Prayer is a way of entering into a relationship with him and living with the knowledge that God is with you.
“The Bible is the letter God sent to us; prayer is the letter we send to him.” — Matthew Henry
How to pray? 3 simple steps
1 ️ ⃣ Start simple — as if you were talking to a friend
Imagine that you are writing a message to someone close to you. What would you write if you wanted to tell him what's on your mind? This is what your prayer might look like. It does not have to be long or flowery. Feel free to say something like:
💬 “God, I'm here and I want to talk to you, but I don't know how. Help me understand this. “
God is not a strict teacher evaluating your “prayer grammar”. There is no one prescribed prayer style -- what position to be in or what voice to speak. In prayer, we approach God in conversation as a loving Father who longs to hear your voice. Therefore, when the disciples asked Jesus how to pray, he presented them with God as Father. Not as the only correct way to pray, but as a view with which to come to God.
“Therefore pray thus: Our Father, who art in heaven,...” (Mt 6:9)
2 ️ ⃣ Use the formula: Gratitude — Confession — Plea
If you don't know how to start talking to God, a simple structure will help:
✅ Gratitude Thank God for something good in your life. (“Thank you, God, for today, for the people I have around me, for not forgetting me...”)
✅ Confessions Be honest about your struggles. (“You know, I'm running out of strength today, and I don't know where to get the motivation for tomorrow's work. I just can't do it myself, I need your help.”
✅ A plea Tell God what's weighing on you. (“I need wisdom on how to make a decision in this situation...”)
3 ️ ⃣ Don't forget to listen
Prayer is not just a monologue. Prayer is a conversation. No one likes it when others just talk to him, but they never give him space to express himself. Create a space during prayer where you can be quiet, let your thoughts flow, and just listen. Don't necessarily expect a voice from heaven, even if it can sometimes sound. Focus on your inner peace, on the thoughts that come to your heart, you can open the Bible and read in it until something of its text speaks to you. Sometimes God answers through other people, events, or through the deep peace that comes when you entrust your worries to him.
When and where to pray?
👉 Anytime God is not only available between 8 a.m. and 4 p.m. You can pray in the morning, in the evening, in the shower, while waiting for the bus or while walking. Early Christians took up the prayer practice of their Jewish colleagues, praying three times a day. Can you make prayer a regular habit?
👉 Anywhere You don't have to be in a church or a special place. You can pray in bed, on a walk, in public transport, in a cafe, even while cooking or before an exam. There is no place where God is not. Learn to experience God's presence in every moment of your life.
👉 Any way — You can pray aloud, in the spirit, write prayers on your cell phone, sing them, or just be silent before God. Silent meditation has been practiced by Christians from the very beginning. In silence, they experienced God's presence. Without having to talk all the time, they were silent along with God. Any prayer practice that pleases you is fine.
And what if I don't feel any response?
You may be trying to pray and feel like nothing is happening. This is normal, this is what Christians experience, and it belongs to a normal spiritual life. God is not a wish-making automaton. Sometimes he answers differently than we expect. Maybe he wants to hint at you a different path than you imagined, or he's teaching you patience. Sometimes silence is the answer. But go on — prayer is not just about an immediate response, it's about building a relationship with God. It is about learning to leave our ways and letting God reveal to us what He has prepared for us. It's a good “Our Father who is in heaven,” remember?
💡 Type: If prayer is new to you, try making a small commitment: pray for just one minute each day. It is not a matter of words, but of a heart that gradually gets used to returning to God and speaking to him.
If you still don't know how to start, you can pray like this:
💬 “God, I want to know you. Help me learn to talk to you. Give me the courage to be honest with you. Thank you for hearing me. Amen. “
Don't worry, you're on the right track. May prayer accompany you!
